Court Archive
Every verdict ever stamped by Judge Pookie. Browse the petty, the iconic, the legally questionable.
MISSING YOUR PERSON IS NOT A CRIME, IT'S JUST LOVE
She is going on a family trip, and I am going to miss her
SERIAL CANCELLER FOUND GUILTY OF FRIENDSHIP NEGLIGENCE IN THE FIRST DEGREE
They keep cancelling plans, again and again.
THE SERIAL PLAN CANCELLER HAS BEEN CAUGHT RED-HANDED, YOUR HONOR
They keep cancelling plans, again and again.
THE ALGORITHM HAS BEEN VIOLATED AND JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL
They used my Netflix and ruined my recommendations. Again.
THE DEFENDANT HAS COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST THE ALGORITHM, YOUR HONOR
They used my Netflix and ruined my recommendations. Again.
THE ALGORITHM HAS BEEN VIOLATED AND JUSTICE MUST PREVAIL
They used my Netflix and ruined my recommendations. Again.
TEN CALLS BEFORE NOON IS A WHOLE ENTIRE SITUATION, POOKIE
today, since morning I called her 10 times, she didnt picked my calls
THE TOWEL TERROR: A DAMP AND DISRESPECTFUL CRIME SCENE
Alex keeps leaving wet towels on my bed and denying it happened. Receipts attached, your honor.
THE GYM RATS HAVE STOLEN YOUR BESTIE AND WE WILL NOT STAND
Jamie cancelled our brunch plans for the third Saturday in a row to hang with their new gym friends.
THE FRIDGE IS NOT A FREE-FOR-ALL, SAM, READ THE LABEL
Sam ate my labeled leftovers from the fridge again. This is the third time this month.
THE COURT IS BUFFERING, PLEASE TRY AGAIN, POOKIE
He used my Netflix and now my algorithm thinks I love war documentaries.