★ NOW HEARING: HE LEFT ME ON READ FOR 4 HOURS★ PETTY CRIMES WELCOME★ JUDGE POOKIE PRESIDING★ NOT REAL LEGAL ADVICE OBVIOUSLY★ FILE YOUR CASE FREE★ THE COURT IS UNHINGED BUT FAIR★ NOW HEARING: HE LEFT ME ON READ FOR 4 HOURS★ PETTY CRIMES WELCOME★ JUDGE POOKIE PRESIDING★ NOT REAL LEGAL ADVICE OBVIOUSLY★ FILE YOUR CASE FREE★ THE COURT IS UNHINGED BUT FAIR
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POO-2026-BC86Relationship DramaDrama: 5/10
Parties
I'm Max, my girlfriend is not picking my calls, 10 times v. Levi
The Tea (Plaintiff's Statement)

today, since morning I called her 10 times, she didnt picked my calls

Demands

10 kisses

Final Verdict
MISTRIAL
Judgment

TEN CALLS BEFORE NOON IS A WHOLE ENTIRE SITUATION, POOKIE

Court Reasoning

Okay so here's the thing, Max — calling someone TEN times in one morning is giving 'I am the human version of a notification spam.' We don't have enough evidence that Levi (the girlfriend) was actually ignoring you versus just, you know, being alive and busy doing human things like sleeping, showering, or simply not hearing the phone. However, if she saw all 10 and chose silence? That's a whole different case we'd need to file separately. Court cannot rule without knowing if she was asleep, at work, or actively avoiding the chaos energy of 10 consecutive calls.

Sentence

Max must wait a minimum of 47 minutes between calls going forward, and Levi must respond to at least call #3 with a 'I'm alive' text. The 10 kisses demand, however? Absolutely valid and shall be honored upon reunion.

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