Sam ate my labeled leftovers from the fridge again. This is the third time this month.
A formal apology and replacement pad thai.
THE FRIDGE IS NOT A FREE-FOR-ALL, SAM, READ THE LABEL
Pookie, we have entered the courtroom with RECEIPTS. Three times this month? Three. Uno, dos, TRES. The label was right there. The intention was clear. Sam looked that sticky note dead in the eyes and said 'not my problem' and grabbed a fork anyway. This is not a case of accidental munching. This is a pattern. A habit. A lifestyle choice that directly violates the sacred Social Contract of Shared Refrigerators, Article 1: If it has a name on it, it has a SOUL. Hands off.
Sam must replace the pad thai within 48 hours — extra peanuts, no substitutions — and must write 'I will not eat what is not mine' on a sticky note and place it on the fridge as a daily reminder for 14 days.